NORMALISED

The three lads were so glad that they had ‘Donleavy’s’ to fall back upon during this prolonged period of dry and hot weather. Soaring temperatures and wildfires all over the world had become the norm. When the first few weeks of the warm weather began it put everyone in a good mood. It was like as if people stood up straighter and looked ahead rather than down, and wished others a good day and commented on the good weather. Now it was like as if the weather – although not being fully blamed as an out and out naughty boy – was losing a bit of its blue-eyed boy status. Temperatures in a lot of places had become uncomfortable. Thousands of hectares had caught fire and been burned. People had died. And now many were feeling physically tired from the prolonged days of heat. Now the greetings regarding the weather were more likely to contain a sigh rather than a bounce. And with all that as a backdrop it well explained why JP, Rasher and Mono felt so lucky to have the sanctuary of a cool Donleavy’s to sit relaxed and contented on their favourite barstools in front of three creamy pints.

JP emitted the subliminal signal and three arms reached out simultaneously and resulted in three pints arcing their way to each individual owner. These gentlemen are masters of the simultaneous pint drinking disciple and in a short space of time three pints traced a return trajectory to each beermat arriving at exactly the same time. If anyone was interested enough to measure with a laser instrument, they would find that exactly the same quantity had been consumed from each glass. These lads brought pint drinking mastery to levels not previously thought achievable.

JP let out a long happy ‘ aaaah’. He pendulumed a bit until his buttocks were resting just right on the barstool. It was time to crack on with some conversation.

‘Normalised’, was all he said.

Rasher looked at Mono. Mono looked at Rasher. JP’s style was to put it out there and leave it hanging. Waiting for curiosity to force a reply. This time – and very unusually – neither Rasher nor Mono took the bait.

JP decided to keep the momentum in trap he needed to go again.

‘It’s becomin’ a very popular word’.

Still nothing.

He’d have to keep going if he wanted the other two strung along.

‘We’re normalisin’ shit that we shouldn’t.’

Still not a jot of response. Couldn’t stop now.

‘But we always normalised shit.’

Mono looked at Rasher. Rasher looked at Mono. Rasher couldn’t stay out of it anymore.

‘Where do we start JP?’

This time it was JP who was wasn’t following the train. He raised a quizzical eyebrow. Rasher kept going.

‘Wanna start at the shit we used to normalise? Or wha’ we do now?’

The subliminal signal went out again. Clearly the new liquid addition gave that thinking time to decide from which end of the time spectrum they wanted to walk.

‘Wha’ about the old stuff first?’

There was a fair degree of nodding before Rasher offered up his thoughts.

‘I’ll give ya one from when we wore younger men’s clothes.’

They were both taken aback as Rasher’s features hardened in front of their eyes. There was an anger creeping into him that was way out of line with the previous relaxed tone.

‘Bleedin’ paedophile people in positions of so-called authority. Priests. Teachers. Sports coaches.’

JP looked at Mono. Mono looked at JP. There was an obvious question here as to how much personal detail Rasher had on this particular subject. Neither man thought good about asking. A bridge too far.

‘Jayzus, yer bang on, Rasher. Every dog in the street knew wha’ was goin’ on but nobody was willin’ to do anythin’ ‘bout it.’

They mulled in violent agreement for a while. Rasher’s features softened and almost regained their previous level of relaxation. His shoulders still hung on to some tightness. He was the one to pipe up another example. Maybe he needed to focus on something different.

‘Bleedin’ corrupt politicians.’

They each threw thumbs in the air.

‘Are we sure we’re still in the past?’

They all had a good laugh at that one. They went back to the well and in case the well might run dry JP signalled to Donleavy for reinforcements.

Donleavy set about plying his trade and the lads had a clear view of three pint glasses being filled. They always felt good when the third pint was filled. It had now gone past the risk of the barrel running empty. Worst that could happen was pints not being topped off. Damage limitation.

Rasher went for it again. He was definitely on a roll this evening. A bit like he was purging a number of long held pissers.

‘And wha’ ‘bout the so-called scandal of havin’ children out of wedlock? Jayzus, the life-changin’ shit that rained down on a poor girl when a bloke wouldn’t own up to a chiseller.’

More nodding.

‘Yeah. Well at least that one doesn’t make it to the current list.’

‘Yeah. No shaggin’ harm.’

Donleavy arrived with fresh pints. They filled him in on tonight’s conversation topic. As with what typically occurred when it was clear that there wasn’t a chaos of drink orders awaiting their favourite barman – he was asked for his own addition to the proceedings. Donleavy had learned to move quickly behind the bar, and his brain was equally swift. When asked for an input he gave it without hesitation. This evening he must have been feeding from the same adrenaline trough as Rasher because there was zero hesitation in the response.

‘It’s a good topic lads. Here’s what we’re normalisin’. Acceptin’ war without the proper response. Being afraid to call genocide, genocide. Toleratin’ outrageous personal wealth. Losin’ democracy in the first world never mind the third. Politicians being more interested in power or personal money than servin’ the people.’

The three lads had their mouths open.

‘Have ya enough to be goin’ on with there, lads? It’s just that I may have pints to serve.’

Donleavy smiled. At this moment there were no pints to serve. He puffed out his chest and then plonked his hands on the bar counter like he was going to start a cycle of press-ups.

Our three amigos each closed their mouths gradually and slowly. Donleavy was still smiling.

‘I may not get out from behind the bar often, lads, but I still know what’s goin’ on in the world. Or what’s not goin’ on.’

Our three heroes nodded.

‘Bleedin’ right.’

‘Fair dues Donleavy’.

‘On the money.’

Before they had a chance to compliment Donleavy further on his double-quick submission and the breath of its content, a punter requiring emergency hydration had called him away. JP looked to his right and then left.

‘Well lads! Is there anythin’ else to add?’.

Mono took up the response.

‘Nah. I’d say he has it covered’.

‘Will we go for a battered cod and chips, so?’

‘Sounds like a plan’.

‘Give Donleavy the nod then’.

Just another night in Donleavy’s.